I’ve walked these streets
A virtual stage
It seemed to me
Make up on their faces
Actors took their
Places next to me

I’ve walked these streets
In a carnival
Of sights to see
All the cheap thrill seekers
The vendors and the dealers
They crowded around me

Have I been blind
Have I been lost
Inside myself and
My own mind
Hypnotized
Mesmerized
By what my eyes have seen?

I’ve walked these streets
In a spectacle of wealth and poverty
In the diamond market
The scarlet welcome carpet
That they just rolled out for me

I’ve walked these streets
In the mad house asylum
They can be
Where a wild eyed misfit prophet
On a traffic island stopped
And he raved of saving me

Have I been blind
Have I been lost
Inside myself and
My own mind
Hypnotized
Mesmerized
By what my eyes have seen?

Have I been wrong
Have I been wise
To shut my eyes
And play along
Hypnotized
Paralyzed
By what my eyes have found
By what my eyes have seen
What they have seen?

Have I been blind
Have I been lost
Have I been wrong
Have I been wise
Have I been strong
Have I been
Hypnotized
Mesmerized
By what my eyes have found
In that great street carnival
In that carnival?

Natalie Merchant - Carnival (1995)

eloquent, i soon retire
to nothing else i may aspire
after ive made love to you

in the dark i see you glisten
to your breath i lay and listen
after ive made love to you

in your arms im softly resting
memories of you undressing
and your lips my final blessing
i never knew the embrace that id been lacking
has been found with kisses smacking
and two bodies there attacking
i and you baby why dont we feel guilty?
whys it seem were doing right?
when were doing something filthy
in a rented room tonight
i think its cause we love the now
we love forever love and how
and my lifes your love anyway
and your lifes my love everyday
you are mine o now forever
think of you always wherever
after ive made love to you
after ive made love to you

Kui sa oled kaua üksi olnud, siis hakkad nägema rohkem, kui teised.

Olen olnud autopiloodil. Töö ja kodu. Nautinud olen küll mõlemat, kuid mu pidevat tegutsemist innustab vaid aja möödumine. Praegu on aeg, kus tuleb teha teha teha. Kõik vaid selleks, et aeg kiiremini kaoks. Sest päikest on aina vähem me päevades ja tööd, seda veel jätkub. Hallid pikad päevad. Vahel harva paistab kontori aknast ka päike läbi ribikardinate.
Ma ei ole õnnetu. Lihtsalt asjad on pandud ootele. Hetkel on paus. Kõigel. Ma puhkan. Mul on oma viis puhkamiseks. Ma eemaldun siis kõigest. Kedagi külla ei kutsu ja ise külla ei lähe. Olen kodus ja mõtlen. Vaatan filme, seriaale ja mõtlen. Kuulan muusikat, loen ja mõtlen. Palju on mõelda. No tegelikult on kõik need filmid, seriaalid, muusika ja lugemine just selleks, et ma ei mõtleks. Kuid see kõik just tekitabki aina rohkem mõtteid. Ja samas annab ka rahu ja selgust. Sellest kõigest annab õppida. Loll on see, kes ei õpi. Peab õppima.
Koristasin täna. Pakkisin mõned asjad uuesi lahti ja jagasin elutuppa laiali. Kuidagi kodusem tunne tekkis. Panin ka mõned küünlad põlema. Elav tuli annab soojust. Mis sest, et vaid küünlad. Ikkagi soojus.

Ärkan jätkuvalt hommikuti õnnelikuna. Mul on ilusad unenäod ja mulle meeldib oma kodus ärgata. Ma tunnen, et see on kodu. Siin on nii vaikne. Siin rahu.